In this article I wanted to expand upon my first experience with the compound called DMT (often referred to as the Spirit Molecule)… to go a little further with some insight to accompany the video I recorded immediately after the “trip”. First of all, here is the detailed video trip report which I recorded shortly after my experience, primarily for my own benefit, to help me recall the key points of the experience later. I do my best to relive and share the full experience as best I can, including some visuals and audio effects, but nothing can ever come close to relating it fully:
What Is DMT?
Although this video is a deeply personal account of my experience, I hope you found it interesting and potentially even helpful. Now let’s take a more general look at DMT.
Dimethyltryptamine (DMT) is a naturally occurring compound found in a variety of plants in animals. It is believed that this chemical is either produced, processed, or stored in the pineal gland and it’s levels are considered to be highest during REM sleep, certain intense experiences, birth, and death.
To get a thorough understanding of DMT I highly recommend you watch the documentary “DMT: The Spirit Molecule”:
While it is difficult to define the DMT experience, many users describe several similarities. Keep in mind that, from my understanding, one’s experience can vary depending on how much of the substance you take in, how well your body processes it, what your state of mind and body is like at the time, how you interpret your experience, what your intent is with the experience, your environment, etc.
Having said that I would like to expand from an article I read after my own experience that I found interesting which outlines several “stages” of the DMT journey. First, here is a link to the original article that I will be “borrowing” some of these thoughts from: https://www.sociedelic.com/the-3-realms-of-dmt/
I want to give him credit for sharing this insight, although my own “trip” was unique and different from his in several ways.
Phases of My DMT Journey
Building from that framework, I wanted to briefly share what felt like distinct phases of my own DMT experience. This is simply to help me integrate this journey and provide some sort of rough framework, without trying to box it in. It’s important to allow some flow to this sort of experience as I don’t feel that it can really be categorized intellectually.
1: Pre-Flight Jitters
This is where I experienced tremendous apprehension as the DMT began to take effect. The face of the person who was guiding me became pixelated and then dispersed into the room in a rush of colors and geometric shapes and repeating fractal patterns. I felt “hang on, here I go” and I became overwhelmed at the intensity of rapidity of the onset. I heard myself saying “it’s OK, I wanted this. It’s for my good.” (Whether in my mind, or out loud). And then, words were no longer available.
Having had this experience, I can also imagine that if I choose to repeat it (which I expect I will, one day), I would likely experience this apprehension even before inhaling, because of recalling the intensity of this experience.
2: The Gateway
The Gateway felt like the passageway from this physical realm to the next level of awareness. This for me was expressed as a very intense, shifting, turning, colorful tunnel of light… a purple or lavender tube filled with many spiraling eyes. It was so overwhelming it literally took my breath away… caught me totally off guard. It was almost exactly like the image below although far more overwhelming and vividly real than I can hope to convey here:
From what I’ve read, some will find themselves stuck in this stage. I can see how that can happen, as it was not only somewhat “scary” to let go and travel to an even higher level, but it would also be easy to get distracted by the beauty and awe in all of the “visual” stimuli in this “tunnel” or gateway. Here you may experience visions, disorientation, unknown entities, etc. How much of the medicine you were able to take in can also play a role.
Once I was able to completely let go of the physical realm, forget about my body and brain, and give up any resistance, I was jettisoned to an entirely new level at a blinding speed. If your goal is to explore the outer limits I believe you need to stop trying to analyze and hold onto your physical experience and surrender completely. This is where there ego was dissolved.
3: Blast Off
Once I was propelled “upwards”, outward, or onward (more like simply ‘expanding’ dramatically) through a gateway of energy and light, I was in an even more complex, colorful, expanding cylinder (or dome) of color, light, energy, shifting geometric shapes, repeating patterns, and “experiences”. Again, words are lost on actually explaining this. It was like a HUGE letting go… almost like dying or leaving my body, which was very intense but ultimately a positive release.
This occurred very quickly and with great intensity initially and there seemed to be SO much awareness to take in or learn so rapidly. But not in words… it’s like the shapes or colors were information I was absorbing by just “experiencing” it. As if energetic awareness was being downloaded directly into my being. It felt as if everything was available to be known in this state.
After feeling I was here for a very long time the intensity of the experience began to “relax” and I felt as if I had been here before… or I am always part of this. I began to feel I was being gently carried into different experiences, undulating back and forth, being shown amazingly overwhelming and beautiful things and absorbing something useful from this. It was euphoric!
Others have described this stage to be a passageway or link between the soul and the heavens. It certainly felt like that. It felt as though once surrendering into this level of experience or “stage”, one could progress on to the next, although it didn’t seem to matter one way or the other at this point. This realm offered fantastic insight and introspection, and even if one were to slowly settle back down into earthly consciousness they can still reflect on their life with an impartial perspective. (Again, whether one goes further could also be the result of how much DMT was inhaled).
Either way, I couldn’t imagine that there was anything beyond this experience… but there was more…
4: Unity Consciousness – One with All & Nothing
After one more deep breath I broke through to another level, which was incredibly expansive and profound, but I don’t recall any imagery or anything that I can describe from what I experienced there. It’s almost like an amazing dream you know you just had, but you don’t remember the details… as it’s just on the tip of your consciousness. Could this realm be the connection to the “core” of the universe? I have a sense that this is where “anything” is possible. I still miss it.
I have no words for this experience, but I do know it was profoundly positive. It wasn’t until my 5MEO experience a few months later that I recognized this state of “no mind” as becoming one with Unity Consciousness (or Source Energy). In this experience of complete Oneness there is no Other to recall or remember anything. It’s pure.
I’ve heard of some people describe having experienced ancient cultures, exploring cities made up of advanced machinery, and even meeting beings such as elves, aliens, or angels. This sounds amazing but I have no recollection of specific imagery such as that myself. It was more as though I was part of the experience, not observing it, if that makes sense. There wasn’t really any “me”.
5: Coming Back Home
As I slowly felt myself come back into my body and become more aware of the physical world, I was still very conscious of my connection with the Universe. I’ve described my post-trip experiences in my video (top of post), which included feeling like the universe was speaking through me, feeling as though I was growing and overflowing with incredible power and energy, and many realizations related to the power of love, gratitude, being present, and letting go.
I was overflowing! As my guide described, “This man’s seen a double rainbow!” LOL. (If you haven’t seen the Double Rainbow Guy you gotta watch it – below). That was my reaction… completely overwhelmed with an out-pouring of laughter, yells, tears, and awe. Although it did also leave me with a feeling of deeper understanding of “what it all means”.
This was where I was able to intellectualize a few aspects of what I experienced. It felt like I had an epiphany. Even in the days following this journey I have been able to process and integrate what I learned in even deeper ways. I’ve also been hungrily reading, listening and watching everything I can related to spiritual awakening, universal consciousness, self-realization, personal development, elevating awareness, the power of meditation and breathing, being in the moment, etc. The first several days after the shift is my awareness was so profound I decided to record a video record of my realizations upon waking each morning:
Now many of the concepts I’ve studied over the years are no longer just intellectual ideas…I just KNOW experientially. The reality I entered on DMT was more real than this physical reality. The tricky thing is that this physical “system” we live in (this matrix) can tend to hypnotize you back into a dazed routine. Old programming and ego-identification can start to take over again and fool us into thinking our old stale limiting beliefs are “real” again. The key now is to never “forget”!
So it will be helpful to establish new habits and daily practices (meditation, breathing exercises, energy work, visualization, reading, studying, entheogens, etc) within a relaxed attitude of flow (let go into the experience… don’t “force” this).
Thankfully, now that I’ve seen reality from this perspective I will always have that to call back on… which is the main reason I created this video and blog post (as a reminder). Now I want to grow from this and continue to become more aware, more at peace, more present, more thankful, more full of love, and live more fully.
If I do decide to use either ayahuasca or straight DMT again, it will be when I feel I am ready to gain even more insight and personal growth (and when I’m prepared to accept the overwhelming intensity of it again!). I expect it will feel like going “home” again.
Love and Light!